The jokes
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
What do orphans call a family picture?
A selfy.
Yo mama so fat, she takes up the whole bed.
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
A dragon who?
The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.
My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.