The jokes

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?

The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.

As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!

Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?

Their dad never came back with the milk.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!

Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.

Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

BAJAHAHAHHAA

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.

Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.

And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.

The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.

What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?

Puppies get adopted.