The Insiders jokes
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Have you seen the inside of Helen Keller's houses? She hasn't.
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
You're dead inside.
(Stabs him 23 times)
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.