A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything, I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get and yet he won't speak!".
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!".
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
wanna go to suicide school then time travel to Hitler's bunker and aski him to teach you
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack mr khan and give him a big fat whack cos his teaching's got lack his system i will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack I'll throw him on the clothing rack on his seat I'll put thumb tacks i'll break his momma's back.... and he'll never come back @DreamBlue
85% of us are good at school while the other 15% is good at suicide
( teach me your ways 15% )
Why can ́ t you teach an orphan NEW tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunatley, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.
In preschool, i confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as i was, i sucked it up and went back to teaching.
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselfs
I joined a emo class today the first lession I learnt was slice and dice and let it flow.
A Boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear. So he just went back to teaching
Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.
Whats the worst place to teach an orphan. Homeschool
imagine this: u at math class. Teacher asks you “wut 11*11”. You say “120”. Teach syas “wrong!” You say “how off was I?” Teach says “1” me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or smth liek tht
Teach a scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys !
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
so dad is teaching his 8 year old son about the planets and said this is Uranus then the 5 year old son says where is my anus
