How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Real Pokémon.
Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
What's a rapper's favorite type of CANDY?
Mic Drops.
Why was the rapper always so confident?
Because he had a lot of rhyme and reason!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
To find the right direction for his FLOW.
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"
Why did the rapper always carry a flashlight?
To SHINE A LIGHT on his talent!
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
To NAVIGATE his way through the CROWD.
