Stage jokes
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
So she could have someone to call daddy.
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?
He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL!
Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole
What's a rapper's favorite type of CANDY?
Mic Drops.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..." The room was full of arm amputees.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You better DROP THE BEAT, or I'll drop YOU!"
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"