Stage jokes
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
Memes
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
What's a rapper's favorite type of CANDY?
Mic Drops.
Why was the rapper always so confident?
Because he had a lot of rhyme and reason!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
To find the right direction for his FLOW.
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"
Why did the rapper always carry a flashlight?
To SHINE A LIGHT on his talent!
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Real Pokémon.
Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.