Stage jokes

What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.

Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.

Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!

Rachel: Alright!

On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.

Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!

Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!

How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?

"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."

Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

How do rappers greet each other?

With a "Mic check, one-two."

What's a rapper's favorite type of CANDY?

Mic Drops.

Why did the rapper always carry a flashlight?

To SHINE A LIGHT on his talent!

Why was the rapper always so confident?

Because he had a lot of rhyme and reason!

What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?

"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."

Fiancee: "Break a leg!"

Real Pokémon.

Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?

"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"

Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?

To find the right direction for his FLOW.

Why was the rapper bad at baseball?

Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.

What did the mic say to the rapper?

"Don’t DROP me, bro!"