Squishiness jokes

Why don’t I like shafting?

It feels squishy.

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

You got a dig bick.

You read that wrong.

You read that wrong too.

Maybe you read that wrong as well.

You just went and back-checked.

You reread all of that.

You have a pet wussy.

You read that wrong...

You need mental help.

Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.

They both routinely place meat in small buns.

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.