Spread jokes

Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.

What do women and peanut butter have in common?

They're both easy to spread.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.

JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.