Sour Patch Kids jokes

Daughter: Mommy?

Mom: Hey.

Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?

Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.

Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...

What's a pedo's favorite snack?

Sour Patch Kids.

My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

- One of the thousands of missing children.

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."

When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.