It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
SOS Jokes
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
Which mineral is so impolite?
IRONic.
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said "Damn!"
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
"Yo mama's so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing today!"
Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.
"Rapeboat" so fat it made yo momma look thin.
Yo mama so fat that when she went in the ocean, Spain claimed her for new land.
You're so poor, you only got 2 jokes.
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.
