SOS jokes

My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.

Have a guess who came crawling back?

Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Some moving men had just begun their day's work.

The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.

The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."

Man, Uranus is so big!

Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.

"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""

Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!

People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.

Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jill’s real name was Randy.

Bro, your humor is so bad I bet you would laugh at this.

A B 💿.

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.

Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣

Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.

You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.

You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!