SOS Jokes

Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

Why are bears' hair so sticky?

Because they use honeycombs.

Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.

Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.

A man with glasses looks surprised, with the text above him.

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

So cinema.

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

I wish my grass was emo, so then it could cut itself.

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

They don't know where home is.

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!