SOS jokes
Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
Yo mama so fat, when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete laughed up.
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, so Jack could lick her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.
Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
My forehead so big,
big like Biggie Smalls. I love cock, please bum my hole.
Hi.
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"
So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."
The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.