Sin

Sin Jokes

FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook she literally posts everyday but this day was sort kind of a hard hit. so what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85 and i dont want to explain what milf means but she got a lot of DM ́s from a lot of old guys. BUT, This one exact guy names Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do a adult film. idk what that is i think its a adult movie of course so she says yes and flys out to San Diego And she never came back after yesterday. and to YOU Johnny Sins my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be a adult movie and not a Por...

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know your blind.

Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin. Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you.

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins he has all power but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea that’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different. Our lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven the promise land only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our lord. This is your choice believe and go to Heaven or don’t believe and go to Hell a eternal death make a choice.

9

A little girl beinng Girl: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"

Priest: "What did you do Child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.

Matt, "Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife"

Priest, "how so?"

Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything just rubbed each other, that's all"

Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"

Matt, "okay i promise not to see her again"

Then Matt walks out the door

Priest, "Hey I saw you! you didn't put any money in the donation box!!"

Matt, "Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in"

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle

Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.

Chocolate rain Some stay dry and others feel the pain Chocolate rain A baby born will die before the sin Chocolate rain The school books say it can't be here again Chocolate rain The prisons make you wonder where it went Chocolate rain Build a tent and say the world is dry Chocolate rain Zoom the camera out and see the lie Chocolate rain Forecast to be falling yesterday Chocolate rain Only in the past is what they say Chocolate rain Raised your neighborhood insurance rates Chocolate rain Makes us happy 'livin in a gate Chocolate rain Made me cross the street the other day Chocolate rain Made you turn your head the other way Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain Seldom mentioned on the radio Chocolate rain It's the fear your leaders call control Chocolate rain Worse than swearing worse than calling names Chocolate rain Say it publicly and you're insane Chocolate rain No one wants to hear about it now Chocolate rain Wish real hard it goes away somehow Chocolate rain Makes the best of friends begin to fight Chocolate rain But did they know each other in the light? Chocolate rain Every February washed away Chocolate rain Stays behind as colors celebrate Chocolate rain The same crime has a higher price to pay Chocolate rain The judge and jury swear it's not the face Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain Dirty secrets of economy Chocolate rain Turns that body into GDP Chocolate rain The bell curve blames the baby's DNA Chocolate rain But test scores are how much the parents make Chocolate rain Flippin' cars in France the other night Chocolate rain Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai Chocolate rain 'Cross the world and back it's all the same Chocolate rain Angels cry and shake their heads in shame Chocolate rain Lifts the ark of paradise in sin Chocolate rain Which part do you think you're livin' in? Chocolate rain More than marchin', more than passing law Chocolate rain Remake how we got to where we are Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again

Three nuns had to go before mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says have you sinned? Yes I have mother I have stolen a bicycle. Okay said mother Superior okay said mother Superior say 100 holy Marys and put dip your hand in the holy water... Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned she slept with a married man.. so mother Superior says okay save 500 hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way the third nun comes up and she says I peed in the holy water 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

One day little Jonny and little Susan were in bible class and little susan had been tired that day so she kept falling asleep and the teacher said to little susan who is our lord and savier and little jonny poked her in the but with a push pin and she yelled JESUS CHRIST and the teacher goes thats right go back to be and then the next thing the teacher asked who gave up there son for our sins and little jonny poked her again and she yelled GOD AL MIGHTY and she says thats right go back to bed and the next quisten the teacher asked was what did ADAM SAY TO EVE after there 13th child little jonny poked her in the but again she yelled IF YOU STICK TAHT THING IN ME AGAIN I AM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHUV IT UP YOUR OWN ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT

Ay Fonsi DY Oh Oh no, oh no Oh yeah Diridiri, dirididi Daddy Go Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote Tengo que bailar contigo hoy (DY) Vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamándome Muéstrame el camino que yo voy (Oh) Tú, tú eres el imán y yo soy el metal Me voy acercando y voy armando el plan Solo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso (Oh yeah) Ya, ya me está gustando más de lo normal Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más Esto hay que tomarlo sin ningún apuro Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja que te diga cosas al oído Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube) (Sube, sube) Quiero ver bailar tu pelo Quiero ser tu ritmo Que le enseñes a mi boca Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby) Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro Hasta provocar tus gritos Y que olvides tu apellido (Diridiri, dirididi Daddy) Si te pido un beso ven dámelo Yo sé que estás pensándolo Llevo tiempo intentándolo Mami, esto es dando y dándolo Sabes que tu corazón conmigo te hace bom, bom Sabes que esa beba está buscando de mi bom, bom Ven prueba de mi boca para ver cómo te sabe Quiero, quiero, quiero ver cuánto amor a ti te cabe Yo no tengo prisa, yo me quiero dar el viaje Empecemos lento, después salvaje Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando poquito a poquito Cuando tú me besas con esa destreza Veo que eres malicia con delicadeza Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito Y es que esa belleza es un rompecabezas Pero pa montarlo aquí tengo la pieza Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja que te diga cosas al oído Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube) (Sube, sube) Quiero ver bailar tu pelo Quiero ser tu ritmo Que le enseñes a mi boca Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby) Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro Hasta provocar tus gritos Y que olvides tu apellido Despacito Vamos a hacerlo en una playa en Puerto Rico Hasta que las olas griten "¡ay, bendito!" Para que mi sello se quede contigo Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito Que le enseñes a mi boca Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby) Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito Hasta provocar tus gritos Y que olvides tu apellido (DY) Despacito