Ogre jokes

What's green and furry?

Fiona from Shrek.

What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”

Your mom is so ugly even Shrek ran away from her.

Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!

Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"

What do Shrek and onions have in common?

*LAYERS*

So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.

*Shrek* Bend ogre.

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

Oliver

Ooo.

An orphan finds a genie.

Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."

Genie: "Of course."

Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."

Genie: "Done."

Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"

Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"