Ogre jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.

So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"

Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

What do Shrek and onions have in common?

*LAYERS*

What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”

Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"

What's green and furry?

Fiona from Shrek.

Your mom is so ugly even Shrek ran away from her.

*Shrek* Bend ogre.

Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.

Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.

Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!

Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.