Show Jokes

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

Why does shows have a family? Because they are Pair-rents!

Pokemon:What’s Wailmer’s favorite TV show? Whale of Fortune.

Me:how does this thing work? ForTnite kid: oh u don’t know how to use a pistol look I’ll show you ForTnitekid: shoots foot Me: that wasn’t a very good demonstration

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie 'Aquaman'. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream

It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had cool subject! The subject was about the Pendulum, the man who statpaded against small teams and camped in pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which penaldo dived like a dolphin!

As an honest Penaldo fan I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona. I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

A woman has been raped by a man, she calls the police and a policeman shows up - Woman: Please help officer I have been raped! Officer: No problem ma'am, I will just unrape you Woman: Whhat? Unrape me? How?

Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape

Stephen hawkings shows up to a car meet up

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

whats an orphans most hated show

The Fosters

A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky: You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that! The girl, showing her arm: Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humour, they think of humour as like a happy thing because humour makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering, if I take a joke like , how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb, none they just beat the room for being black, now that joke isn’t make light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racial discriminated against, it’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind and that is important, humour at its best takes the bad thing in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny

And before you go in the comments and say i agree with rape, I don’t, I hope everybody who rapes someone to have there dick cut of, my little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

I got up one day my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me, and my mom out. I show my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I ask my neighbor do you know any tricks he said yes, in matter of fact I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast. I said how well my neighbor lick my mom ass, and ate her pussy out in front me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car I ask my neighbor How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast. My neighbor said well that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up.

JESUS has had an all the time in the world and all the power in the world to do whatever he wanted.

Guess what he has to show for nothing, but putting us in hell!

Being an absolute waste Breathe of life, and of power !

Ah (gas, gas, gas) Ah Do you like my car? Guess you're ready 'cause I'm waiting for you It's gonna be so exciting Got this feeling really deep in my soul Let's get out, I wanna go, come along, get it on Gonna take my car, gonna sit in Gonna drive along 'til I get you 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?) Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna step on the gas Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna run as a flash Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show Don't be lazy 'cause I'm burning for you It's like a hot sensation Got this power that is taking me out Yes, I've got a crush on you, ready, now, ready, go Gonna take my car, gonna sit in Gonna drive alone 'til I get you 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?) Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna step on the gas Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna run as a flash Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show Gonna take my car, do you like my car? 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?) Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna step on the gas Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna run as a flash Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show Gas, gas, gas Yeah, yeah, yeah Gas, gas, gas And you'll see the big show Ah

Wash It Away- By- Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions-Why does it always feel like I'm The one that's had a bad day? Whether I'm stuck in traffic or Showing up to work late Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to Forever been working all week For a jerk that thinks they can Say whatever they want to me I'll just bite my tongue for a Couple more days Soon I'll be in that island sun Surfing those waves I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta wash it away Finally I'm here and I cant even Stop myself from smiling Somebody hand me a beer and I'll check the girls on the island Don't miss my 9 to 5 Living like a local on this island time I got those sandy toes and Nobody knows jump in the Ocean and just go with the flow I'll miss my sandy toes I've got to go back before you Know this island is my home I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta wash it away Wash it away I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta Wash it away Wash it away

Can't anyone relate to this? BEAT WATERSHARKY!!! -Oops!-By- Air Attack Productions and Yung Gravy-Ayy, supercalifragilisticexpiali dope shit Supercalifragi lick my ex be on some ho shit Superman, I get dem bands but ain't gon' buy you roses Super-duper get them cougars, took my wrist and froze it Super-duper hoes Y'all got Oompa Loompa hoes I ain't never knew ya hoes Prolly still ran through 'em, though

Oh, wait, wait, I, I do know your ho? You talkin' 'bout, you talkin' 'bout Tracy? Nah, you mean like, like, Tracy with the ass? Tracy with the, with the Honda? Shit, well

Oops, baby Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy Never knew that was your boo, baby Hit her five times in the coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy Oops, baby Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby Yeah, I said oops, baby Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy Never knew that was your boo, baby Hit her five times in the coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy Oops, baby Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby

Lil' bitch, I'm happy and I know it so I clap them fuckin' cheeks, yeah I'm happy and I show it to your momma in the sheets And I'm happy she's a freak ho, happy so my teeth glow Yeah, my bitch elite, I be clapping every week My neck, my back, got your momma on my sack My checks, my racks, it's the return of the motherfuckin' mack And I stay with the pack, though Clap, clap, then I'm out the backdoor Lil' Pillsbury, I stack dough Walkin' with a limp, like a crack ho

Yeah, I said oops, baby Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy Never knew that was your boo, baby Hit her five times in the Coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy Oops, baby Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby Yeah, I said oops, baby Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy Never knew that was your boo, baby Hit her five times in the Coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy Oops, baby Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby

Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon a old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad shaking his head. He walked up to the the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The Old Farmer said, " my mule, he just won't do nothing, he don't work any more, always looking sad, barely eat, just sad." Little Johnny said, "can I go talk him?" "Sure, The Old Farmer said, he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, seen the mule just sad, and sighing.. A few minutes laters, Little Johnny came out and said, "You're mule fixed." The Old Farmer ran in, and seen the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing.. "Thank you, thank you," The Old Farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way.. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon The Old Farmer again, looking sad.. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked.. "It's my mule again, ever since you talked him he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day, what did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said The Old Farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule fixed sir." The Old Farmer went in seen the mule 'Crying' crying really hard. The Old Farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule, one day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying, just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "We'll the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his, this time I showed it to him"

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application, I asked him to show me his skills and experience but he just started diving and asking for pens and tapins, I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.