My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
Yo mama is so poor, she buys used food.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
Yo mama so poor, she can't even pay attention.
Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner--and she looked.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple it became Sunken Temple.
Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Yo mama so FAT, she can't handle files bigger than 4 GB.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
Yo mama is so fat, she takes her selfies in panoramic mode.
Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.
