I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.
Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣
Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
Yo mama so fricking ugly, she made humans to extinct.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
roses are red violets are blue she is hot but you're as ugly as poo
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
Why did Stephan Hawkins and his wife stop playing hide and seek - she kept using a metal detector
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
yo mama so fat she id fat
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
What did ceaser call a person. She-her(ceaser)
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
