I asked a Chinese girl her number, she said "Sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said, "Wow!"
Her friend corrected her by saying, "She means: 666-3629."
Shes Jokes
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
Yo mama so fat, she takes up all the space.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
What did Allan say to his sister bully when she stepped on his toe? "Mitosis!"
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
Yo mama so fat, She the iceberg.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there?
Not Susie.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
