Self-control jokes

I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.

What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?

An edgelord.

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...