Seed jokes
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
Memes
Community
**\[Verse 1]** I make the snacks, I wash the floors, You’re on the couch, still wanting more. They call me names, yeah, let 'em scoff, I wear my badge, I’m better off.
**\[Pre-Chorus]** Don’t need your rules, don’t want your war, I open minds while you keep score. I serve the tea, I take the heat, But I sleep just fine with clean, cold sheets.
**\[Chorus]** So call me a cuck, I don't give a—(what?) Love who I love,… Read more
Aight real talk will the chiefs get the 1 seed, chiefs still have to play the Browns, Texans, and Steelers while the Bills still have to play the 49ers, Rams, Lions, and jets. I have no doubt Allen will win some of these games but if the chiefs win out they get the 1 seed and the Lions-Bills game could potentially be what determines the AFC.
Hello, my name is Brenda. Imagine for a second that you’re me: An adult orphan kicked out of foster care at the tender age of 18. No family. No money. No love. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from the big bad world suddenly at your feet. Forced to grow-up practically overnight or face homelessness and extreme adversity.
Fucked, in every sense of the world.
Then, imagine, you’re somehow able to beat the odds and get… Read more