Rock jokes
What rock has four men that don't sing?
One Direction.
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
What did the rock say to the flower?
Rocks can't talk. -.-
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
What do you call a un-funny rock?
A normal rock.
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.
Down will come dummy, cradle and all.
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
I’m doin' your mom. Yes yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers.
Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.
I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Five minutes later she agreed to get with me
So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.
I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn’t start.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young
To be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?
My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.