Rich Person jokes

What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!

Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."

Rich person: "Then buy a house!"

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.

Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.

Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

How do women make you a millionaire?

When you're a billionaire.