How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy. But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
What kind of jeans do you were to church? - Holy jeans
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains so Mohammed said my faith can move sky scrapers
Why did spencer eat cheese. Because he was Jewish
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! he obviously liked being nailed!
how do you boil holy water?...you boil the hell out of it
How do you confuse a ginger?
Throw a cross at them.
What does McDonald's and priest have in common they both put there meet in 10 year old buns
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
Why does Jesus never vacation on earth?, because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick and their still talking about it
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate".
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
