Relapse jokes

How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.

Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...

My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.