Rectal jokes

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,

"Some asshole has my pen!"

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste!

I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.

A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."

What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.

Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.