Purrfect jokes

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

Isn't It Purrfect!

Can I tell you a cat joke?

Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.

God creating cats.

GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.

ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?

GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

What do you do when your cat's not home?

Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.

Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.

If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.