Puns
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
Are you fin-ished with your work?
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Tell me a joke.
OK, your face.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.