What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
Puns
If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Tell me a joke.
OK, your face.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
Tell all the skeleton jokes you want, but I've got thick skin.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
