What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
Press Jokes
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.
Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
How do you make Indians explode? Press the red button.
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
