Pot

Pot jokes

Neighbor

  • I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.

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  • Cannibal

  • A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."

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  • Name

  • How did the Asian couple name their child?

    They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.

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  • Wish

  • If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

    If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

    And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

    Glue

  • What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

    You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

    What about the glue?

    I knew you'd get stuck there.

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  • Ex-wife

  • My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...

    "Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"

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  • Masturbation

  • Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.

    Anyways,

    Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

    More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!

    But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

    How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

    How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

    Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".

    What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".

    If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.

    Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!

    Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

    What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

    Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.

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  • Name

  • How do Chinese people name their children?

    They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."

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