Pot jokes
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the s*** spoon."
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
How do Asians name their babies?
They throw pots and pans around.
"Ching, Chang, Clang!"
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
