Phonetics jokes

16 is a knight? Mail.

Say "I cup" but in words.

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone: "Wing wing, arrow!"

How do you spell ihop?

Then spell ihop and say "ness".

Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."

Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.

How do you stun a Scotsman?

Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".

Germans be like, “Guten Morgan.”

Bitch, that's not my name.

The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

Russians be like: "bfddrhnnkhsaxbjk speak English!"

A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:

"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."

English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.

Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.