Phonetics jokes

Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.

How do you spell ihop?

Then spell ihop and say "ness".

How do you stun a Scotsman?

Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".

16 is a knight? Mail.

Say "I cup" but in words.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.

I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.

Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?

Student: Apple!

Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?

Student:....Bitch...

Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.