Phonetics jokes
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
16 is a knight? Mail.
Say "I cup" but in words.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."