Payment method jokes

How do birds pay? With their bills!

A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."

I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.

Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?

What did 1 pay with at the store? A 1/4 ;)

When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

How does a rapper pay for his groceries?

With a SICK FLOW of cash!

What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.