Parent jokes
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!
Me: Where are they?
Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.
When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If you're bored, pull a Technoblade, bully orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
Oh, brother!
Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.