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Orphan

  • Like this if you laughed.

    These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

    I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

    Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

    Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

    Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

    Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

    What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

    Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

    self-deprecation

  • If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

    If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

    I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...

    If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

    I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

    If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

    I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

    If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

    I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

    My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

    I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

    I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

    I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

    I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

    I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

    My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.

    Help me....

  • 75
  • Depression

  • If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

    If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

    I’m a star! Because one of these days, I’m going to crash and burn...

    If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

    I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

    If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

    I’m like an eggshell... broken and empty.

    If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

    I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

    My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

    I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

    I’m like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

    I’m like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

    I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

    I’m like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

    My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.

    Help me...

  • 3
  • Website

  • Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."

    Family

  • Simpsons.

    Meet the Simpsons.

    They're the greatest modern family.

    From the town of Springfield.

    They're a page right out of history.

  • 0
  • Wikipedia

  • I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

    Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

  • 1
  • Option

  • Random person: "Just turn the page and start over."

    Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."

  • 3
  • Mom

  • Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.

  • 1
  • Queen Elizabeth

  • This joke is unavailable due to the National Period of Mourning. Please return to this page on the 19th of September.

    R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.

  • 9
  • Orphan

  • Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

    I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

    Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

    Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

    Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

    Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

    If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

    If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

    Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

    What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

    Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

    Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

    What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

    Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

    Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

    What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

  • 1
  • Difference

  • I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

    What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

    What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

  • 0