What was the thing that Beethoven used the most?
THE OVEN! (BeethOVEN)
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
how do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
the wheel chair rises to the top
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What type of cake can orphans not have?
Homemade.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
Is your oven running?
Then you better go catch it!
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
Wood fired pizza?
How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
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You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
