Outing jokes
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.
Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
"Out of the way, I need to Caterpie."
What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.
"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."
And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"
The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.