Back
Outing

Outing jokes

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.

  • 1

    • What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

    A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

    Charizarding.

    When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

    what do you call a lazy gay?

    someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.

  • 1

    • So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

    "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

    And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

    The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

    So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

  • 1

    • A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

    "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

    "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

  • 1

    • Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

    Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

    Guy #2: Why, what is it?

    Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

    Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

    Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!

    My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."

    So I said, "But which one?"

    I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

    When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.

    It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

    So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?

    The blond because she had to ask for directions.

    Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

    A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."

  • 1