Out jokes
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
Memes
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
Why is Daisy afraid of candles?
Watch my videos and find out!!! 🤸♀️🕯📷💰😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the water jumped out!
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.