Orphans jokes
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
What is an orphan's most hated TV shows?
"Family Guy" & "American Dad."
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
An orphan's favorite Roblox game is Adopt Me.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can never do a home run.
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
I once told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man because he is far from home.
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"
UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.
America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.