Old Times jokes

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."

What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.

Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.