Old Times jokes

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."

What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.

Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were too many knights.

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha