No jokes

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

No, I don't want to.

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, there is no electricity.

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

What has a tail, a head, but no body?

A coin.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.

My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.

Why can't orphans go outside?

Because they have no parents to watch them!

Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!

Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?

Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!

Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!

Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???

Me: Yea

The "f" in "orphan" means family, even though there's no "f."

Sorry, no adults allowed.

Only 3 per person.

So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

Wanna suck my dick?

No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.

Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

Why do orphans hate plane rides?

Because there’s no home to come back to.