Never forget jokes

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

You said that you would never forget!

I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"

I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”

A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.

I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."

I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”

I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words...

Oh fuck, it’s a bus!

Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"