Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say when little boys walk away?
"Give in to me-hee-he!"
Why did Michael Joseph Jackson dangle the baby over the balcony? He wanted to air out the blanket.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
