What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say when little boys walk away?
"Give in to me-hee-he!"
Why did Michael Joseph Jackson dangle the baby over the balcony? He wanted to air out the blanket.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
Why does Michael Joseph Jackson love Boise?
Because of all the boys he'll see.
