Modern life jokes

Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))

Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”

Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”

What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?

A: A virgin.

Uber driver: .........

Me: .........

Uber driver: .........

Me: 5 stars.

I'm an Alabama gamer and I wanna be free.

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.

Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason.

Define abnormal life.

Waking up every day living a sane life!

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?