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Guy

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

The image shows two photos side-by-side with the text "You vs. the guy she tells you not to worry about." The first photo depicts a young man with a red turban, wearing a white shirt with his arms crossed. The second photo shows a turbaned man in a blue and yellow robe sitting on a motorcycle.

Valentine's Day

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A digital artwork shows a smirking male character with spiky red hair, set against a dark background illuminated by reddish light. The text "POV: Me on Valentine's day gettin ready to tell happy couples to switch phones (if I can't be happy no can)" is overlaid at the top.

Man

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a split-screen. On the left, a man is being arrested by two police officers. On the right, there is a collapsed parking garage with cars scattered among the debris. The text overlay at the top reads, 'New York man arrested in connection of parking garage collapse after giving homeless people pickaxes and telling them there was a lost crack stash'.

Letter

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a conversation. The first message asks to tell a joke using every letter of the alphabet. The second message responds with an alphabet and a cheese pun.

Man

Apollo · 1 year ago

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

Preparation

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Don't tell me different methods of preparation are the same ever again.

The image shows two different cars. The top car has a white frame and is associated with a disgusted looking cartoon fish, ketchup, tomatoes, spaghetti, and pizza. Above this image are the words, "This is Trash". The bottom car has a red frame and is associated with two pixelated chicken thighs and the same cartoon fish looking content. Above this is the phrase, "But I like this."

Bed

Lil’ bro · 1 year ago

The image shows Anakin Skywalker looking annoyed with the text "When your Mom & Dad tell you to stop jumping on your bed but you hear their bed squeaking at 2am. It's not fair!"

Party

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A cartoon image showing a boy named Greg standing with his arms outstretched, looking surprised or frustrated. Two adults stand behind him looking upset. On the ground is another boy lying flat, apparently the result of the party misunderstanding. The text bubble above Greg says: "I swear, I tried to tell him a Diddy party is not a regular party."

Family

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white image styled as a page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book. The text describes a dark scenario: 'DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF. Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom turned around, I tell you she looked batshit crazy. She was holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.' The accompanying illustration shows a character (Mom or Rodrick) pointing a gun at another character (Greg) while Dad lies on the floor. A speech bubble says 'I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING LEGS GREG.' Another character (Bubby) points and yells 'BUBBY DID IT!' The narrator concludes: 'HE had to fuck shit up.' The page number 10 is at the bottom.

Infidelity

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a parody 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book featuring handwritten text and a cartoon illustration of Greg Heffley and his mother in a car. The text describes Greg witnessing his mother's infidelity and his resulting feelings of disgust and distrust, culminating in a tense conversation where she asks him to keep the secret.

Tell

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Florida Man

tabs1528 · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a tweet by Robert Littal (@BSO). The tweet contains a headline about 'Florida Man' and describes how he told his neighbors he would 'kill them with kindness,' then proceeded to try and attack them with a machete he named 'Kindness.' Below the text is a mugshot photo of the man with a small injury on his forehead.

Skeleton

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a two-panel comic. The first panel shows a man advising another man to say to a woman: "You're an 8 on a scale of 10." The second panel shows the man instead saying to the woman: "Urinate on a skeleton."

Chance

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel comic featuring a stick figure with a troll face. The first panel reads, "How to have a higher chance of winning in Russian roulette." The second panel shows the stick figure holding a pistol and reads, "Step 1: acquire a semi automatic pistol instead of a revolver". The third panel shows the stick figure holding the pistol and another stick figure with a concerned face and reads, "Step 2: tell your friend to go first." The fourth panel reads, "Problem death?" and shows the troll face again.

Kid

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A pale, humanoid creature with hands raised to the face and eyes in the palms. The text overlay reads "I'm gonna tell my kids this was Mitch McConnell."

Alien

Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 2 years ago

A text-based image consisting of a series of posts. The first post from "frickdun" says "[slides nasa $20] so, tell me about the aliens". Then "nightcoremoon" replies, "aliens: [slide nasa $40] nasa: Imao what aliens". The final post by "candy5hark11" says "nasa, with $60, holding back tears: we can finally afford some more space rocks".

Bed

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Anakin Skywalker looks upset, with the text: "When your Mom & Dad tell you to stop jumping on your bed but you hear their bed squeaking at 2am. It's not fair!"

WhatsApp

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾 · 2 years ago

Voice

Jazzy💕 · 2 years ago

Unless you wanna die

A meme with an image of a woman staring intensely. The text above her reads, "Things you never tell a Latina: -Chill -I'm breaking up with you -Lower your voice -Calm down -Relax -You're crazy [stares in Spanish]"

Car

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A slightly high-angle shot captures a shelf containing assorted items. On the left, "SafeFit" and "Sesame Street" products are visible, including a glow-in-the-dark safety sign with Elmo, featuring the texts: "Drive Safely! Nothing Tickles Me More!!" Beside it, a blue "Baby's Photo Album" sits next to a promotional item labeled "especially for baby." The background fades into an indistinguishable array of colors and shapes.

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