Worst Jokes Ever

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Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A black and white drawing of a girl in a school uniform with her finger to her lips. Speech bubbles around her read, "If people find out I talked to you my reputation will be ruined!" and "Now, don't tell anyone, ok?"

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

The image shows two photos side-by-side with the text "You vs. the guy she tells you not to worry about." The first photo depicts a young man with a red turban, wearing a white shirt with his arms crossed. The second photo shows a turbaned man in a blue and yellow robe sitting on a motorcycle.

Face mc shooty

A digital artwork shows a smirking male character with spiky red hair, set against a dark background illuminated by reddish light. The text "POV: Me on Valentine's day gettin ready to tell happy couples to switch phones (if I can't be happy no can)" is overlaid at the top.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a split-screen. On the left, a man is being arrested by two police officers. On the right, there is a collapsed parking garage with cars scattered among the debris. The text overlay at the top reads, 'New York man arrested in connection of parking garage collapse after giving homeless people pickaxes and telling them there was a lost crack stash'.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a conversation. The first message asks to tell a joke using every letter of the alphabet. The second message responds with an alphabet and a cheese pun.

Tsukuyomi

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

Adolf Nigler

Don't tell me different methods of preparation are the same ever again.

The image shows two different cars. The top car has a white frame and is associated with a disgusted looking cartoon fish, ketchup, tomatoes, spaghetti, and pizza. Above this image are the words, "This is Trash". The bottom car has a red frame and is associated with two pixelated chicken thighs and the same cartoon fish looking content. Above this is the phrase, "But I like this."

Lil’ bro

The image shows Anakin Skywalker looking annoyed with the text "When your Mom & Dad tell you to stop jumping on your bed but you hear their bed squeaking at 2am. It's not fair!"

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon image showing a boy named Greg standing with his arms outstretched, looking surprised or frustrated. Two adults stand behind him looking upset. On the ground is another boy lying flat, apparently the result of the party misunderstanding. The text bubble above Greg says: "I swear, I tried to tell him a Diddy party is not a regular party."

Heroin Monkey

DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF.
Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and
the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH
A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom
turned around, I tell she looked batshit crazy. She
was
you
holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.
I'M GONNA
BREAK YOUR
FUCKING
LEGS GREG
WHAT THE
HELL?!
She then threatened us for answers for who told Dad,
and when I thought things couldn't get any i
BUBBY
DID IT!
worse...
HE had to fuck shit up.
10

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Heroin Monkey

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

tabs1528

Robert Littal
@BSO
Florida Man Tells Neighbors He's Going to
Kill Them With Kindness Then Tries to Kill
Them With a Machete He Named
"Kindness" (Photos) bit.ly/2FtrJW8

Heroin Monkey

The image is a two-panel comic. The first panel shows a man advising another man to say to a woman: "You're an 8 on a scale of 10." The second panel shows the man instead saying to the woman: "Urinate on a skeleton."

Heroin Monkey

The image is a four-panel comic featuring a stick figure with a troll face. The first panel reads, "How to have a higher chance of winning in Russian roulette." The second panel shows the stick figure holding a pistol and reads, "Step 1: acquire a semi automatic pistol instead of a revolver". The third panel shows the stick figure holding the pistol and another stick figure with a concerned face and reads, "Step 2: tell your friend to go first." The fourth panel reads, "Problem death?" and shows the troll face again.

Heroin Monkey

A pale, humanoid creature with hands raised to the face and eyes in the palms. The text overlay reads "I'm gonna tell my kids this was Mitch McConnell."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A text-based image consisting of a series of posts. The first post from "frickdun" says "[slides nasa $20] so, tell me about the aliens". Then "nightcoremoon" replies, "aliens: [slide nasa $40] nasa: Imao what aliens". The final post by "candy5hark11" says "nasa, with $60, holding back tears: we can finally afford some more space rocks".

Anonymous

Anakin Skywalker looks upset, with the text: "When your Mom & Dad tell you to stop jumping on your bed but you hear their bed squeaking at 2am. It's not fair!"

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

Jazzy💕

Unless you wanna die

A meme with an image of a woman staring intensely. The text above her reads, "Things you never tell a Latina: -Chill -I'm breaking up with you -Lower your voice -Calm down -Relax -You're crazy [stares in Spanish]"

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