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Confession

31 views · Shitpost master-general · 2 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The original post states, "if i had a dick i'd stack donuts on it". The reply begins by participating in the crude joke, saying, "Yeah I probably get 2 or 3 donuts ahaha," before abruptly transitioning into a detailed murder confession, providing the location (Sam Houston National Park 30.535993, -95.645309), depth (7.3 feet), and the victim's name and age (Josef Kalic, 34 years old), and the date of the crime (2006).

Drake

25 views · RapBoat · 7 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The first tweet is from FearBuck, stating "SSSniperWolf speaks on Drake revealing she left him on read and curved him." Below this, SSSniperWolf's tweet is shown, featuring two images: one of her taking a selfie in a room, and one of Drake performing on stage. Her tweet reads: "Good morning. Made headlines for leaving a rapper on read lol". The second tweet in the thread is from Alijah, who says, "She think she all that 😂 if ICEMAN wanted to bag her fr he would have done it in an instant". The third tweet is from OVO Daquarius, stating, "literally drake was probably trolling like he usually does + he fucks way badder bitches than 'sniperwolf' so im not even tripping fr".

Femboy

140 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

The image is a screenshot of two posts from Reddit. The first post is from a user in r/feminineboys, titled "Dad of a feminine Boy." The post describes a 50-year-old father who found skirts and thigh highs belonging to his 16-year-old son, who is a femboy. The father is seeking advice on how to best support his son. The second post is from a user in r/Boykisser3, titled "My dad found my thigh highs." It features a crudely drawn illustration of a cat-like character looking worried.

Equation

14 views · Anonymous · 11 months ago

the bear was difficult on this one

The image shows a math equation, 7^(3x+4) = 49^(2x+1), followed by text that says the equation is a sneaky way to write the word "sex" because seven ate nine.

Bio

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man with glasses sits at a chessboard. The text says, "How mfs with 'you're probably here because I offended you' in their bio feel."

Poison

36 views · Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

In a scene from the show "Breaking Bad", a man sits and reads a book. The meme text above the image reads: "When the girl ur eating out starts to taste like poison and u realize that's probably how she died."

Slang

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

bro didnt even get the words right

An image shows Explain Bear explaining the meaning of "icl ts pmo". It means:
ICL: I am dead
TS: That sucks
PMO: Put me on.

Number

5 views · Evil Duck Lords Of America · 1 year ago

Probably the quack troop for me bc I will have the numbers say what you would choose in the comments

The image shows four panels with different ducks. The first panel features a duck with a stern look called "Dug." The second panel has a white duck called "Polar Duck." The third panel shows three ducks in trench coats and hats called "The Quack Troop." The last panel is a close-up of a duck's head called "Big Quack." Above the panels, it says, "One will protect you, the rest will attack you, choose wisely."

Cocaine

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows Elmo looking confused to the right. To his left is a clear cup with a pair of eyes floating on top. The text reads, "When Elmo's urine sample begins to sing about the importance of drinking water, he realizes that the cocaine he got from Tampa was probably less than 100% pure."

Fire

4 views · DIANEE · 1 year ago

The image is a meme with a split panel. The left side shows a fierce red dragon exhaling fire, with the text "AN ANCIENT BEING CAPABLE OF FLYING AND BREATHING FIRE." The right side shows a red 20-sided die, with the text "ONE CRITICAL BOI." Above both panels, it reads "WHO WOULD WIN?"

Picture

12 views · Thoughtless · 1 year ago

A couple is lying in bed. The text on top reads: "Her: He's probably thinking about other women..." Underneath is written "Him: Who the hell is taking pictures of me and my wife in bed."

Dog

Why should you care · 1 year ago

A split image. On the left is a screenshot from a video game with a character walking near a small structure that might be a doghouse. A creature that resembles a dog is running near the character. The text says: "Probably a doghouse, though I'm not sure since there's no dog around." On the right, there is a red die with the number 1 on top. The text reads: "ME A HALFLING: YES! I CAN REROLL. ME: ....".

Equation

2 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a meme with the text "statisticians be like" at the top, followed by three graphics: a bell curve chart, a probability mass function graph with three curves, and a statistical formula. Underneath the graphics, the text continues with "yeah this may or may not happen idk."

Mate

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first person asks about a Miata for sale. After some questions, the first person asks "What's your lowest point?" and the second person responds with a tragic personal anecdote about his wife leaving him, misunderstanding that the first person was asking for the "lowest price."

Steve Harvey

4 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

An image of a night sky with a projection of Steve Harvey's face made of light dots over Atlanta. A user comments that the lights are just stars.

Chance

22 views · 𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾 · 1 year ago

A light gray cat with a furrowed brow looks at a "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" style question. The question reads: "If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance that you will be correct?" The possible answers are: A: 25%, B: 0%, C: 50%, D: 25%.

Chip

Cupツ · 1 year ago

oop

On the left, a screenshot of a social media post showing a question "How much is $2 chips?", followed by a comment: "It probably takes you an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes". On the right, a man looks confused.

Rapper

22 views · RapBoat · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit thread. The question is "Which rapper's age surprises you the most?" The first commenter states "Pac and Big being 25 and 24 at their death always tripped me out, they looked and sounded way older imo." A second commenter replies "Crazy that biggie sounded like that at 24/25. Dude sounded like a 40 year old man." A third commenter chimes in "that's probably because he was fat asf."

Kid

66 views · RapBoat · 1 year ago

A Reddit post shows someone sharing an anecdote about kids singing the song "They Not Like Us" and other inappropriate lyrics on the playground. The poster finds the situation funny and reflects on the exposure of children to adult content.

Egg

7 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A woman is lying in bed looking annoyed. Next to her is a giant egg. The text above the image reads: "Her: he's probably thinking about other girls... Him: I am egg". There is a Twitter account name of @DennysDiner above the text.

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