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Chatbot

118 views · Heroin Monkey · 16 days ago

A split screenshot of a Facebook Messenger conversation with the official Zootopia movie page. On the left, the user Ian says 'hey'. The chatbot, identified as Officer Judy Hopps, asks if he is ready to make the world a better place. Ian replies 'im ready to kill myself'. The chatbot responds 'Great! That's what we're all about here at the ZPD!'. On the right side, the chatbot has sent a long, repetitive string of messages saying 'please don't'.

River

48 views · Heroin Monkey · 28 days ago

A comparison meme using the Swole Doge vs. Cheems format. On the left, a blue-tinted Cheems wearing an ancient Egyptian headdress represents the Nile, saying timidly that it might flood slightly more or less than usual. On the right, a large, muscular Swole Doge in a traditional Chinese robe represents the Yellow River, aggressively stating that it will shift its course by 800 kilometers, kill millions, and destroy dynasties.

Capybara

346 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 months ago

An image featuring a photo of a capybara at the top and a series of Instagram comments below. The comments mock the animal's generic appearance, comparing it to a default video game character, common loot, or a tutorial enemy. Text includes: "Imagine being a random fucking thing", "bro is an enemy in the tutorial", "bro is the default animal", "Bro is built like common loot", "Just some bullshit with fur", "Ts is a damn login reward", "His only job is existing and that's enough", and "Went to the pet store and just said 'one animal please'".

Reminder

39 views · Siri_the_Robot · 3 months ago

Do it

A meme consisting of text and a screenshot of a phone notification. The top text reads: "Me: Siri remind me to dye my hair tomorrow please. Siri next morning:". Below this is a screenshot of an iPhone notification from the Reminders app, dated 12:00 PM and labeled "now". The reminder text is: "Die today".

Rabbit

27 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

Buy silver rn trust please I’m begging you buy silver ride it to the moon I swear

A fluffy rabbit sits in a small circular hole in the dirt. White text and arrows point to the rabbit as being "from the moon??" and the hole as an "impact crater".

Puppy

147 views · K!ttyy · 3 months ago

reddit ts

Pornography

104 views · Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

Knots~

A screenshot of a Twitter post, allegedly from the Russian Embassy, UK, stating: 'Please stop making porn of Zabivaka the Wolf. Russia is begging you.' The accompanying image is the official mascot for the 2018 FIFA World Cup, Zabivaka, a wolf wearing goggles, a white shirt that says 'Russia 2018,' and red shorts, kicking a soccer ball. The name ZABIVAKA is also visible.

Skeleton

39 views · Anonymous · 7 months ago

Make sure to drink milk!!! | Daily Spooktober Meme #2

A skeleton sits in the passenger seat of a car, buckled up with a seatbelt. A white piece of paper taped to the window next to it reads: "Please don't break the window. The A/C is on. He has milk and is listening to his favorite spooky music."

Body

57 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

Restraint

48 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A screenshot of a dark mode text post displays an explicit fanfiction excerpt. A picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad, wearing his Heisenberg hat and glasses, with a beard, is superimposed over the text. Red circles highlight Walter White's face, the words 'Say my name,' and 'name.' The text describes a highly suggestive scene where a character is 'trembling from restraint' and eventually pleads, 'Please. I need you. Say my name.' The final sentence reads: 'He's falling apart. He's breaking. You're making him burn, and he loves every second of it.'

Meal

39 views · Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A black and white photo of a very muscular man, likely Jean-Claude Van Damme, sitting at a table with a meal in front of him. He is looking down at his plate with a serious or somewhat dejected expression. Text above reads, "Please mom, don't tell Spider-Man I haven't finished my meal."

Fish

49 views · Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A white sign with black text on a dark post. The top of the image has text "Ocean's closed for business". The sign itself has a large bold heading "Please do not fuck the fish" and lists bullet points: "It can make them sick", "They may bite you", "It changes their behaviour", and "There's plenty of squirrels in the forest if you really need a fleshlight". Below the bullet points, it says "Please help protect the fish and keep the marine reserve natural". At the very bottom, it reads "Department of Conservation Te Papa Atawhai". On the left side of the sign, there's a small graphic of a hand holding a fish with a prohibition symbol over it, and text "yeetbob.yeetpants" vertically along the edge.

Text message

209 views · Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation on a dark blue background. The messages are in light blue bubbles from one sender and light grey bubbles from a second sender. The conversation starts with one sender asking to meet, then expressing joy with '*blushes*' and '*jumps with joy*', and finally sending '*cums*'. The other sender responds with 'Yeah when tho', 'stop that please', and a threatening message beginning with 'Nigga, I will rape you'.

Halloween

4 views · Rubeedi · 9 months ago

Check your kid's Halloween candy!!

Two chocolate candies are shown on a white background. One is a whole, cylindrical chocolate. The other is a similar chocolate, cut in half, revealing a surprised, wide-eyed cartoon face with an open mouth inside, replacing the typical filling. The text above reads: 'PLEASE check your kid's Halloween candy carefully!! just found this'.

Family

67 views · Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A screenshot of a computer screen showing a severe moderation notice from an online platform. The title reads "Family Execution on 7/30". The text below states, "Our content monitors have determined that your behavior is a violation of our Terms of Use. Reviewed: 5/28/2020 12:03:19 AM (CT). Moderator Note: A Hitman Will be Sent to Your House. Reason: Inappropriate. Offensive Item: yo waffles are kinda fire ngl. Your Family Will Die. If you wish to appeal, please contact us via the Support." A "Logout" button is visible at the bottom right.

Chat

37 views · Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

Sex

41 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A screenshot of two Reddit comments on a dark background. The first comment, from a deleted user, asks about the lengths of depravity humans will go to for sexual stimulation and the torment they can endure for the possibility of sex. Below this, another user, whose name is obscured by a red bar, replies 'please help they found me i fucked a cactus'.

Slang

306 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A screenshot of a fake definition page for the skull emoji '💀' in slang. The title is 'Skull emoji in slang'. The definition states that the skull emoji in slang is a way to replace 'I'm a slutty Femboy' or 'Please fuck me with your big hard cock', commonly used by Femboys and very Lesbian women. It urges the reader to 'rid this world of "💀" users' and 'report any you find on the internet'. It then repeats '💀💀💀'. Below, it summarizes '💀 Skull emoji in slang meaning "please fuck me" or another scentence along the lines of "I'm a femboy"'. It is attributed 'by 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 December 31, 2022'. Below that are buttons indicating 2539 likes, 342 dislikes, and a flag option.

Exam

108 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A handwritten note on lined paper shows the biological classification ranks: Domain, Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species, written below a sentence with arrows pointing up from each rank to a corresponding word. The sentence reads: Dear Kevin, Please Come Over For Gay Sex. Above the note, text from a tweet says 'Gonna ace this exam'.

Gamer

37 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A flyer taped to a tiled wall that reads: "ATTENTION GAMERS. DIARY of a Wimpy Kid Roleplay club. Wimpy Kid roleplays are held at the local SUBWAY from 1:30AM - 3:30AM on Thursdays. Please do not come as Greg, Frank, Manny, Rodrick or Susan, as they are already taken. Please be Rowley we need a Rowley. Also, rude language will not be tolerated at the Wimpy kid roleplay. My mom will get mad and not let us do it anymore!"

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