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Heroin Monkey
10 months ago
A screenshot of a social media post with three comments. The first comment from user landorus says "lets have phone sex over walkie talkies". The second comment from user rninor says "bend over" "bend what? over". The third comment from user striderofthenorth-dom says "I hate this place".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The image shows a phone screen displaying a text conversation. The first message reads "FBI Agent: Do it bro". Followed by the user: "My dog just ran away", "Yah" and "I still have a boyfriend". In between, the FBI agent texts "I'm so sorry to hear that" and "I'm here if you need anything". The last message by the user reads "And I still have my dog."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    A cartoon image showing a boy named Greg standing with his arms outstretched, looking surprised or frustrated. Two adults stand behind him looking upset. On the ground is another boy lying flat, apparently the result of the party misunderstanding. The text bubble above Greg says: "I swear, I tried to tell him a Diddy party is not a regular party."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11
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  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF.
Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and
the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH
A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom
turned around, I tell she looked batshit crazy. She
was
you
holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.
I'M GONNA
BREAK YOUR
FUCKING
LEGS GREG
WHAT THE
HELL?!
She then threatened us for answers for who told Dad,
and when I thought things couldn't get any i
BUBBY
DID IT!
worse...
HE had to fuck shit up.
10
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  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3
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  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
1
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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    George Floyd in a nutshell.

    The image shows two pictures of the same Black man, in a reaction meme format. The top picture is deep-fried and has glowing eyes. The text on the image says: "real shit". Below that picture is written: "Fake $20s". The second picture is a picture of the man sleeping. The text on this image says "i sleep", and next to it, it's written: "Cop on my neck".
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  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    The image shows a mockup of a WhatsApp chat interface with Friedrich Engels' picture on the right. The WhatsApp screen shows a conversation with Karl Marx repeatedly messaging "I NEED money". The text above reads "WHAT IF FRIEDRICH ENGELS HAD WHATSAPP" with laughing emojis next to it.
  • 0
  • DAP ME UP
    11 months ago

    ?!?? TRIGGERED MUCH

    The image shows a conversation between a quiet kid and another person. The text reads: QUIET KID: I GOT MURDER ON MY MIND. ME: YEAH, ITS A REALLY NICE SONG. QUIET KID: WHAT SONG?. The background image is a man with a shocked expression.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    The image is a two-panel photo. The top panel shows a smiling couple in a car, with the woman saying "I wanna feel like a princess" and the man responding with "Say no more" in speech bubbles. The bottom panel shows a car crashed into a wall.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    Other countries
Please behave
I will take you
to Disneyland
Balkans
I will sell you
to the gypsies
if you don't behave
I will behave
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    The image is composed of three frames. The first shows a police officer asking a driver "CAN I SEE YOUR I.D.?". The driver is replying "NO SIR. I'M shidding". The second frame shows a man looking angry with the text "AS IN DEFECATING THROUGH A SUNROOF". The last frame shows a yellow car, with three circled faces superimposed: Two of them are over the roof and the one in the bottom right is on the street. The text at the bottom says "DEFECATE".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    A man standing in front of a brick wall while gesturing with his hands. The text above him reads: "me, a bricklayer, explaining to my apprentice (holding the camera) how I constructed this beautiful wall."
  • 0
  • opal💫
    11 months ago
    A chart showing the times of the day from 1 am to 12 pm, with a cheese icon next to each of the morning times (am) and a steak icon next to each of the afternoon times (pm).
  • 1
  • MEME LORD
    11 months ago
    A two-panel cartoon. The top panel shows a muscular man asking a woman 'Can I buy you a drink?' She says 'Sure!'. Below the text, the text 'SHE'S NOT INTERESTED' appears. The bottom panel shows the same man asking a different, pink-haired woman the same question. The original woman is standing next to the pink-haired one and again rejects him by the text below her: 'SHE'S NOT INTERESTED'. The drawing style is cartoonish and simplified. The user name '@FATGESol' is visible in the lower left.
  • 0
  • MEME LORD
    11 months ago
    He threw a piece of bread at me so I flipped his
lil dumbass over. Fuck them kids
  • 1
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