Worst Jokes Ever

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Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A dark, shadowy, creature-like figure with twig-like structures on its head and a large hand reaching out is shown against a textured, brown wall. The text reads: "Mfw I see an interracial couple on TV:".

JXSTR99

not my meme but I have an official license

A two-panel meme. The top panel shows the text "There's an owl outside your house waiting for you" at the top, and to the left, "Harry Potter fans". To the right of this text is a close-up image of a person with yellow sunglasses looking extremely excited and grinning. The bottom panel shows the text "Duolingo users" to the left, and to the right is a close-up image of a person (possibly the same person) crying with tears streaming down their face.

Heroin Monkey

A man in a dark suit and red tie sits and gestures. His face and hands are purple. Text above reads: "For the last time, Mr. Wonka, I did not try any experimental gum, and frankly I find this entire line of questioning insulting."

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

A meme featuring text over an image of a distressed cat being pulled by another cat. The text reads: Me (A Caveman) being dragged to hell because I didn't follow a religion made 3000 years after I died:

Heroin Monkey

Two Nintendo Switch consoles are sitting side-by-side on the wire rack inside a lit oven. One console has blue and red Joy-Cons attached, and the other appears to be a Switch Lite or the main console with grey Joy-Cons. The oven interior is visible.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Twitter thread by user 'ka vinki' (@jkavinsky). The first tweet says 'getting hit by a car kinda fun fr it feels like an action movie when u roll over the hood'. The second tweet is a reply to the first, stating 'driver was crying like she killed me or something relax'. The third tweet is another reply, saying 'nurse asked me to rate the pain 1 to 10 n i said 25 n started screaming i'm getting this morphine one way or another'.

Heroin Monkey

A cosmic image shows a large, dark dragon wrapped around the Earth, emanating destructive fiery energy. At the center of the fiery vortex, a smaller Earth-like sphere is visible. The text above the image reads: "YO MORDECAI, CHECK THIS COOL LAPTOP I FOUND IN THE TRASH TODAY" and "4 MINUTES LATER :".

Heroin Monkey

A young man looks directly at the camera with a distressed expression. Overlaid text reads "I was just messing around wdym I can't change my username for 30 days 😭". Visible below is the username "thecpgooner" and the word "Bro".

Heroin Monkey

A close-up shot of a human hand with the index finger slightly raised, set against a white background. Black text is overlaid next to the hand. The text reads: I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT OUR PINKIES ARE SMALLER SO THAT THEY FIT IN OUR DICK HOLES EASIER.

Heroin Monkey

The top text says 'animal crossing fans when i seal them in a pool of sulphuric acid'. The bottom part of the image shows a man's face submerged in a yellow liquid, with his mouth open in distress, looking like he is being dissolved.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of two Reddit comments on a dark background. The first comment, from a deleted user, asks about the lengths of depravity humans will go to for sexual stimulation and the torment they can endure for the possibility of sex. Below this, another user, whose name is obscured by a red bar, replies 'please help they found me i fucked a cactus'.

A Star Wars Fan

A still from The Hobbit shows a dwarf with a helmet saying, "I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

Heroin Monkey

The character Grug from "The Croods" stands in front of a black and white photograph of Hiroshima after it was bombed. The text says, "I call this Hiroshima (it rhymes with Grug)".

Big booty back shots

kill me

A person is wearing a black t-shirt with the text: I love being a black woman.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two panels depicting capitalism. The upper panel, titled "How they say capitalism works," presents two "Chad" characters, each with a glass of lemonade, with one stating, "My lemonade is better" and the other replying, "No! I will make mine better." The lower panel, titled "How capitalism actually works," features two overweight, formally dressed men holding cigars and glasses of liquid. One says, "I diluted mine to profit more," while the other says, "I used piss."

DAP ME UP

The image shows a screenshot of a meme featuring Bugs Bunny with a disapproving expression. Above Bugs Bunny, the text reads: "Middle Eastern kid: 'When I grow up...' Predator drone:" The word "no" is superimposed on the bottom left of Bugs Bunny.

Heroin Monkey

A woman is wearing a t-shirt with the words "I [heart] being a black woman." printed on it. The heart is red.

Heroin Monkey

A man looking upset is pictured above a comment that reads: "I have your face on a carpet and I like to strip naked and cover myself in honey and roll around on the carpet until I pee (love your bellybutton)." Text over the man reads: "Bro leave this man alone."

Heroin Monkey

A photo shows a doll that resembles an unborn baby next to text that reads: "If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so I would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and I would do it until I had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. Then I would have a kid and when they're bad I would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy I could have aborted their ass."

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