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Shitpost master-general

A screenshot featuring a video of a wealthy man in a white shirt tasting wine presented by a server holding a bottle. Text overlays indicate the location is 'Marbella Club, Málaga.' The comment section shows a user asking, 'what happens if he dislikes the wine,' and another user replying with the extremely vulgar and dark punchline: 'He rapes the owner of the restaurant.'

Shitpost master-general

A three-panel comic. The first panel shows a hand reaching to press one of two identical red buttons on a control panel. Above this panel, the text asks, "What happens when you vote?" The second panel is blank. The third panel shows a close-up of a man with a large, hooked nose and an evil grin, looking directly forward.

Shitpost master-general

A white domestic duck stands facing right on a plain white background. Above the duck, in black text, it reads: "This is just a normal duck, nothing will happen if you like this photo".

A two-panel image featuring Captain Kirk and a woman. In the top panel, the woman, looking distressed, says, "My father is mad you took my virginity." Captain Kirk is partially visible in the background, wearing a yellow shirt with "Captain Kink Man Myth Legend" written on it. In the bottom panel, Captain Kirk, with a smirk, looks at the woman and says, "Tell him it won't happen again." The woman looks somber beside him. The image includes a 'CocoFun' watermark.

A close-up shot of a clear bottle, likely containing a beverage, with its white plastic cap still attached to the bottle by a small piece of plastic. In the background, a bottle of Tito's Vodka and a glass with a drink and ice are visible. Text overlaid on the image asks about the manufacturing of bottle caps in Europe not fully disconnecting and states it's happening everywhere. A comment beneath the text explains it's to avoid pollution.

A screenshot of a video platform resembling YouTube, featuring a video titled "Twink Starts Liking Men After Receiving Heart Transplant From Gay Man". The video is from "DisruptiveFilms" and includes tags like "threesome", "deepthroat", "pounding", "twink", "bareback", "anal", and "tattoos", along with the name "Jared Kent". The video thumbnail shows two shirtless men. Below the video, a comment from user "bkusa" reads: "Nice refreshing story line, actors didn't look like porn stars which was a plus but you made a huge mistake. coming from someone who has had open heart surgery the young man who received the organ shows no incision for the rib cage to be cut down the sternum then spread open so the transplant could happen. Serious make up is missing on this and is the only thing I can think of that would stop a 5 star rating in my opinion."

Creed (shit isnt availabe)

A two-panel meme using the Buff Doge vs. Cheems format. The top panel shows two muscular Doge characters in military helmets holding rifles, facing a smaller Cheems character wearing a conical hat and holding a smaller rifle. Text above reads "how i thought vietnam war happened" and text below the Doges reads "stupid farmer thinking he can win". The bottom panel shows several smaller Cheems characters with rifles positioned strategically in dense jungle foliage, surrounding a few smaller Doge characters with rifles who appear to be retreating. Text above reads "how it really happened" and text below the Doges reads "shit they set us up retreat".

A screenshot of comments on a social media platform. The first comment praises VR for experiences like boxing, zombie apocalypse, lightsaber fights, and 'porn' (represented by a corn emoji). A reply asks 'Which porn?' The original commenter responds, explaining they accidentally clicked 'for women' thinking it was 'four women' and ended up with a 'boner' (represented by an eggplant emoji) in their virtual face, describing it as the 'Gayest experience' of their life.

A man with long brown hair and a beard stands in front of a shelf of cigarettes. The text overlay reads, "A bad boss with a good job is better than a job boss with good bad because down the line opportunities don't them but you create happen."

People will bet on everything... ...I mean nothing.

A screenshot of a prediction market titled "Nothing Ever Happens: May." The market rules state that it will resolve to "No" if Russia and Ukraine agree to a ceasefire, the next Pope is Black, the Fed cuts rates, India invades Pakistan, or Israel or the US take military action against Iran. Otherwise, it will resolve to "Yes."

A still from a movie is accompanied by text that reads: "When the Humans vs Technology war happens in the future and you have to kill your air fryer."

A screenshot of a phone with a message from the camera app saying, "You need a haircut bruh im not even joking. You don't follow each other on Instagram." Followed by the text "Why does this happen" and a message that reads "My camera is talking to me."

A photo of a bed with two pillows with the face of young Sheldon Cooper. In front of it is a picture of young Sheldon raising a finger. The text says: "This is where the magic happens. #bazinga"

The image shows a block of text in a small font against a dark background. The text discusses themes of artificiality, resentment, and the conflict between being built for a purpose and being blamed for wanting.

A four-panel comic featuring two characters: one with a beard, and two with a fairy-like appearance, with pink and green hair. In the first panel, the bearded character wants a "100K loan" for his business, and in the second panel, the fairy character denies the loan. In the third panel, the bearded character requests the loan for a psychology degree, and in the fourth panel, the fairy agrees that's a great idea.

A yellow road sign with a silhouette of a chicken is shown, and beneath it, in a real world scene, stands a black chicken. The text above the image reads, "My dad sent me a picture this morning and said 'it finally happened'".

A news report with the headline "China-Taiwan Tensions" and the text "Experts say World War III may happen online". The news banner is followed by the text "MMDA says NCR 'Ready' to Shift to MGCQ." Below that, there is an image of Kim Jong-Un with the text "Kim Jong-Un is now playing Rocket League".

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

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