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Crime memes

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Crime

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Pizza Hut

Wade XL · 2 years ago

The image is a collage. The top part shows a news headline about an armed Pizza Hut employee who shot and killed a robber. Below is an image of a person with a pizza box on their head, a blood-splattered apron, and holding a pizza peel. The text says "Nobody out pizzas the hut".

School shooting

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Two signs side-by-side are shown. The first sign on the left shows a gun with a circle and line through it and the text 'All weapons are prohibited on these premises.' The sign on the right shows a silhouette of a person holding a gun with the text 'The next person who shoots up the school is double gay.' above the silhouette, the text is above it.

War Crime

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a 2-part meme. The top part is a screenshot of an article from The Guardian with the title "Should gamers be accountable for in-game war crimes?" and a picture of soldiers. The bottom part shows three wolves with a smiling expression. The wolf on the left is labeled "Actual lawyers", the middle wolf is labeled "The Guardian" and the right wolf is labeled "People with an IQ above room temperature".

Pig

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a babirusa on the left and a babirusa skull on the right. Below the images is the text: "THE BABIRUSA IS A WILD PIG WHOSE TUSKS CAN GROW SO LONG THEY CURVE BACKWARDS ULTIMATELY IMPALING THEIR SKULLS AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING THEM UNLIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN WHO WAS KILLED ON PURPOSE". The text @yup.that.exists is in the upper right of the picture.

Cop

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A mugshot of a man with a news headline above it that reads: "Man Running from Cops Stops to Pet Cats, Goes to Jail. Police say the Florida man led them on quite a chase. By Sherri Lonon (Patch Staff). September 3, 2014."

Police Officer

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Two pictures side by side. The picture on the left is a policeman in uniform. The picture on the right is a man looking at the camera. The text in the image says: This is Heartwarming. This police officer was called to a grocery store in response to this man stealing food to feed his family. Instead of arresting the man, the police officer shot him 38 times.

Bad habit

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a poster titled "Bad Habits" depicting a boy engaging in various undesirable behaviors. The poster is divided into twelve panels, each illustrating a different bad habit such as disrespecting parents, not doing homework, smoking, dacoity, dealing heroin, unprotected sex with prostitutes, insider trading, arms trading, stem cell research, war crimes, running an illegal abortion clinic, and not washing hands before meals. Each panel includes a small illustration of the boy with a label for the bad habit, both in English and Hindi. The bad habits portrayed escalate from minor misbehavior to serious illegal activities.

Honor

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man in a suit with a serious look is standing in front of a grey background. Above and below him are two text blocks: "Your honor, it wasn't a 'hate crime'" and "It was a 'gamer moment'".

Man

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A three-panel comic shows two men in orange prison jumpsuits sitting on a bench. In the first panel, the larger man asks "I killed a man, and you?" In the second panel, the smaller man responds with "GO GO GADGET BENCH EXTENDER". In the third panel, the large man is alone on the bench and looks sad.

Cop

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

An image of a muscular saber-toothed cat saying: "Go ahead, call the cops. They cannot unshit your grandma's cremation urn."

Coke

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screengrab of a show titled "PAW Patrol" with a description that reads: "Watch Season 3 Now. First they got the coke. Then they got the money. Now the Colombian cartels want the power. Let the drug wars begin."

Rape

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man with glasses and a beard is talking to the camera with the text "So apparently the rape advice hotline is for 'victims'" at the bottom. The man looks confused.

Bandit

Wade · 2 years ago

A news headline reads: "The Ohio Butthole Tickling Bandit Has Escaped Custody and Being Hunted By Police." Below the headline are two images: one shows police cars with flashing lights and the other shows the mugshot of the supposed bandit with wide eyes.

Florida Man

CrackedRuby_alt · 2 years ago

Oop

A tweet from CBS News stating that a Florida man was arrested for kidnapping 27 people and forcing them to play Yahtzee for 36 hours straight. The tweet includes the man's mugshot.

Cigarette

CrackedRuby_alt · 2 years ago

Welp

A three-panel cartoon shows a man being threatened by a robber, who is smoking, who says 'Ya know, cigarettes are gonna kill you someday'. The man replies 'Ya, sure, whatever pal'. In the final panel, the man is being chased by armed cigarettes and a match.

Dog

ɮǟʀօռ ɦɛʟʍʊȶ zємσ · 2 years ago

A Shiba Inu dog is holding a white rag up with a slightly mischievous smile on its face. The text above says, "EXCUSE ME" and the text below says, "Does this rag smell like chloroform?"

Deadpool

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Wade, What did you do? You're grounded for life.

A stylized image of Deadpool in a police lineup. Above him is the word "WANTED." He is holding a sign that reads "DEADPOOL" and below that a number "8308 7353".

Rape

Wade · 2 years ago

Facts

The image shows two panels of an animation. In the first, Rick from Rick and Morty is tearing a painting off a wall. In the second panel, the wall is torn and there's a message that reads: "Rape towards men is still rape." Rick looks surprised and gestures with his hands.

Batman

Wade · 2 years ago

Shits about to go down

The image shows Batman standing in the rain with a large light projecting the bat signal. The text says "You know, shit's about to get real when Batman calls for Batman."

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